A yearly review. My Favorite National Parks
Every year, I write about some of the best parks that I’ve ever visited. I tell people about my favorite parks. But sometimes the best parks fall through the cracks.
So every year I like to summarize some of my favorite, lesser known National Parks.
This year I’ve decided to focus on 3 of my all time favorites.
#1. Big Rock Candy Mountains National Recreation Area.
The Strawberries taste like sugar. The lime crystals taste like sugar. The grape crystals taste like sugar. The water tastes like sugar water.
Home, Home, in the ranges,
Where the skitteeer and the cottonlope roam
Where seldom is heard a sour word,
and the mountains have a high soluability.
There are many restrictions in National Parks. Where you can go, what you can do, what you can pack in, what you can pack out, what you can eat. In general you are allowed to eat fruit in National Parks, so long as it’s naturally grown. (Blackberries, Raspberries, Snozzberries, Apples… etc) But you are not allowed to cart away chunks of mountains. But what if the mountains, themselves are edible? This is why the Department of the Interior established National Recreation Areas. When the rules get squidgy, what if you just make a place with looser rules?
Here you can hike the sugar-grape pass, climb across the lemony crags, and swim in water sweetened by the Dissolving Peaks. They say the mountains are different flavors, and when the wind’s are right, you can smell it. However, it all tastes the same. (Like sugar.) Enjoy! And take as much as you want with you!
#2 My Friend Steve’s Backyard National Monument
Trim the hedges, pick up sticks, and care for the lawn.
It’s a nice backyard. Perhaps the best backyard. That’s why it was declared a national monument. Really it’s a monument to every yard, and acknowledgement of all the time we spend on lawn care, lawn planting, lawn loving. The only thing… it requires so much maintanence! Visitors are invited to pitch in when they come along, although Steve will be there, to offer a nice glass of ice water once you’re done.
Just beware the all seeing Jazz-Owl. It is love. It is life. It sees all, knows all, and watched always.
#3 The Infinite Void National Park
How could I miss one of the best national parks of all times? The fact that this wasn’t on last year’s list is a travesty. I hear questions all the time. “What do I do at the Infinite Void?” “Is there anything to do besides staring into the Infinite Void?” “Where is the gift shop?” “What happens if you fall into the Infinite Void?” “How deep is the Infinite Void?” “Has Anyone explored the Infinite Void?” “Kids, Stop Running Near the Infinite Void!” “Kids, Stop!” “Kids!” “Kiiiiiidddddssss!!!!!!”
Shout all of those questions into the Infinite Void. Scream into the Infinite Void. Throw your friend Steve into the Infinite Void! The Infinite Void is a National Treasure. It is there for you. It is there for us all.
Part of the Nationwide Night Skies Program. This newest member of our National Parks System is like no other. I can’t recommend it highly enough. Or maybe, lowly.
I hope this list helps you decide upon your next outdoor excursion. There are so many to choose from. Expect more reccomendations next year. Always on April 1st!